There are some ppl who bother me a lot. I find this very weird – I mean why should I care? Is it that the classical logic of hating ppl u see the most of ur-self in holds true?

I mean,look at P. He’s smart and hardworking. No doubts.But I see him as a wannabe as I have seen no other. I mean a man so desperate for attention? His whole point oif existence seems to be to impress ppl – coming frm where he does in experiences – its very understandable. But I find it very irritating. And off late he seems to have learnt a host of techniques to be more in your face.and he seems to have learnt the art of putting down others too J. But what really irritates me is that I see parts of this in myself. I seem to care a lot of what others think about me too. C is another case in point. I mean he is apparently very smart and sensible. But he is like Don Quixote – so out to become a hero,that he’s fooling himself all the time too. Or is this an act?

PS: Dont still have the balls to put in names. I mean how much can i trust this new medium for confidentility? But hell,it feels nice to see u're stuff on a post :)

cant live with em,cant live witout em

Another thing trouybling me off late is my losing disinterest in making surface level connections with ppl.I mean I have never been this attracted to ,comfortable with ppl in the ERI sense – never had I experienced this level of sharing. Now I feel the superficial thing is a waste of time. And given how most relations are, where will I find these meaningful deep relations? How can I find these ppl who are willing,ready and want to talk at that level? Talking woith ppl ,specially in the dorm is irritating.

New year priorities: Priority 1 ?

Ok,so I have been thinking abt so many things. Like now that I realize I want a deep relationship with one girl, why don’t I do anything abt it? Why don’t I put fight – go out,meet girls,etc and at least try to get this lady. I don’t know – like all things I see a classic tradeoff here…What I need the most in this girl is comfort to share and a lot of respect for her. Both things are not one can find straightaway, or typically looks for, when girl hunting. These are things you encounter ( I would imagine) when you have known someone to an extent. The things that attract you to strangers is looks, mannerisms.So, in marketing terms, there is a classic channel-attribute mismatch here…hehe..so what do I do now. One solution is to hunt girls and spend time – the classic inoptimal solution to this NP hard problem. But the critical in optimality here- time- is currently at a premium and will continue to be that way. Ok while on this,let me make a list of things I need in the girl:

Sweet :)

Caring – specially for others in a true sense.

I should be able to respect her.

I don’t know how true this is but at this point of time I don’t really care abt how she looks – or so I think

Is this too much to ask for? L

My first post

Its new year – 1:00 in the night – and I sit here typing. I had another “dull” new year, this time by conscious choice to an extent. Not that I had been invited to any of the sexy parties L but this time I knew to an extent what I was missing on J. I guess I want this year to be the year of my awakening, and what best way to spend it than introspecting on the eve !

Interesting coincident, I was watching friend’s episodes and the episode with the new year somehow turned up such that the new year ticked in in the episode at the exact same time it ticked in in here! Coincidence, no Joe-incidence!..hehe