Confusions

Sometimes truth shocks me. And that others can see you through shocks me even more. I mean how transparent am I? Yesteraday I went for the regular tea with the group including the lady I really like and my neighbour - who is a professor kind- also happened to be there. And while coming back he starts joking about how I should stop running behind the lady - I mean how obvious was I? Ans if he can see it (or does he really?) then I wonder who cant? thats a sick feeling :( But then there's a part of me which says I 've cared for what others think in the past and that has brought me nothing but pain - so why care about what he or others think. But you know what,I really care about what SHE thinks...and I dont want her to think bad of me :(

so the worst case scenario is,lets say, she knows I like her. What then? If she starts making excuses not to meet then I'll reciprocate the distance. If she carries on with the game,so will I. And damn the onlookers!